How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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