I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He has the fingertips of a God
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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