Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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