Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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