My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
