Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
