one might say we're banned from that church
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Randomize
