My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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