I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
