Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.