who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
