Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
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