I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
