real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
