Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize