clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
