How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
