It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Randomize
