My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
