tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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