well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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