I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
