i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
