Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
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I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
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She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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