i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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