I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
