I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
