I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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