u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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