The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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