you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
