I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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