..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
