Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
