So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
