did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
