I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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