I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
