One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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