That's when you crack a 10am beer
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
