Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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