remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I would fuck him just for his dog
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