Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
