fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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