dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
