Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
