I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
The adults are the big ones right?
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