Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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