He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
