i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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