One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize