You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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