Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
