Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
