It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
