is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Green mimosas i think yes
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Randomize
