i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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