Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
