you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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