if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
