I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
