At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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