Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
