Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
