doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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